MY SINS HAVE BEEN CLEANSED: NALINI
(Headlines in Times of India)
But this is wonderful! Almost as wonderful as Mrs. Stanes saying she has forgiven those who killed her husband and children.
Now comes the $64= question: Who will forgive Ibrahim Dawood Bhai?
MAS
16 April '08
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I WON'T BUDGE.
I WON'T BUDGE. [His Response to North Indians being Targeted for Removal in Mumbai]
(Mr. Amitabh Bachhan in the Mumbai Mirror)
Wah! Wah! Mr. Bachhan. At last one brave soul has stood up to say: Hell, no. I won't go. Wish there were more like you.
I used to wonder: What's that white Van Dyke beard doing there, when his hair is all black? No more. We are living in a democracy.
Every man must be allowed some leeway in establishing his own identity.
Mr. Raj Thakeray replies (shamefacedly?) "We never asked him to leave."
Of course not, Raj Bhai. Whoever asked a cow to leave his TABELA. Especially when he could milk her daily. Maybe twice.
MA Shahani
17 April '08
(Mr. Amitabh Bachhan in the Mumbai Mirror)
Wah! Wah! Mr. Bachhan. At last one brave soul has stood up to say: Hell, no. I won't go. Wish there were more like you.
I used to wonder: What's that white Van Dyke beard doing there, when his hair is all black? No more. We are living in a democracy.
Every man must be allowed some leeway in establishing his own identity.
Mr. Raj Thakeray replies (shamefacedly?) "We never asked him to leave."
Of course not, Raj Bhai. Whoever asked a cow to leave his TABELA. Especially when he could milk her daily. Maybe twice.
MA Shahani
17 April '08
"READER, WE HAVE BEEN HAD"
To the Editor of Mumbai Mirror
Sir:
This refers to your story in your excellent paper entitled:
"READER, WE HAVE BEEN HAD." [In reference to a false filmy story timely planted by publicity seeking actors]
Reading between the lines, one is driven to one of the following conclusions:
1. That you were born yesterday and are more innocent than the most innocent babe on earth.
2. That you were born on 14 December 1916 and now it is time for you to seek a golden handshake.
In case I offend thee I hasten to touch thy feed and to mumble: "Please forgive me." One condition tho.
Daily you must write 21 lines, thus: "Lord God, please grant me a tiny bit of Thy wisdom."
MA Shahani
18 April '08
Sir:
This refers to your story in your excellent paper entitled:
"READER, WE HAVE BEEN HAD." [In reference to a false filmy story timely planted by publicity seeking actors]
Reading between the lines, one is driven to one of the following conclusions:
1. That you were born yesterday and are more innocent than the most innocent babe on earth.
2. That you were born on 14 December 1916 and now it is time for you to seek a golden handshake.
In case I offend thee I hasten to touch thy feed and to mumble: "Please forgive me." One condition tho.
Daily you must write 21 lines, thus: "Lord God, please grant me a tiny bit of Thy wisdom."
MA Shahani
18 April '08
Monday, April 14, 2008
Man Returns Rs. 96,750 (Headline Mumbai Mirror)
To the gentleman who returned:
Sir,
You may be interested in the story of the man who DID NOT return...
One day I sent one of my colleagues to the RBI to get some one rupee notes. In those days, they were still printing them. The man took the money (Rs. 100) went to the bank and returned in the afternoon with two bundles of one rupee notes.
I explained to my colleague that a mistake had been made and asked him to return one bundle to the bank.
The next day the man was absent. On the third, when he reported for work, I asked him what went wrong. "Oh," he said "my brother-in-law fell off the train and we had to attend his funeral."
Sir,
You may be interested in the story of the man who DID NOT return...
One day I sent one of my colleagues to the RBI to get some one rupee notes. In those days, they were still printing them. The man took the money (Rs. 100) went to the bank and returned in the afternoon with two bundles of one rupee notes.
I explained to my colleague that a mistake had been made and asked him to return one bundle to the bank.
The next day the man was absent. On the third, when he reported for work, I asked him what went wrong. "Oh," he said "my brother-in-law fell off the train and we had to attend his funeral."
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Finance Minister P. Chidambaram
April 1, 2008
Mr. Chidambaram is a wonderful man. He loves to collect taxed: 27 crores rom SRK, one crore plus from Ash, and so on.
But how about the tax wrongly collected? Or collected when the Assessee is below the tax net? At such times Mr. Chidambaram hides in a corner and pretends he doesn't know me.
MA Shahani
Mr. Chidambaram is a wonderful man. He loves to collect taxed: 27 crores rom SRK, one crore plus from Ash, and so on.
But how about the tax wrongly collected? Or collected when the Assessee is below the tax net? At such times Mr. Chidambaram hides in a corner and pretends he doesn't know me.
MA Shahani
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Russian Mafia
This one is addressed to the Russian mafia, if there be one.
O ye beautiful people from the north. I don't know whether you are Tadjik, Turkmen, Khirgiz, Kazak or other nationalities. The whole point is that people say that you are dealing in controlled substances. It is okay if you deal in marijuana ONLY. What is known here as BHANG. But people say you are bringing in cocaine, heroin, crack and other forbidden substances which tend to destroy people. Now, my request to you is simple. Please pack up your bags and go to some other country. I do hope your response will be positive. In the other case, you will only compel me to use moral force.
I do hope wise counsels will prevail.
God bless you all.
MA Shahani
20 February, 2008.
O ye beautiful people from the north. I don't know whether you are Tadjik, Turkmen, Khirgiz, Kazak or other nationalities. The whole point is that people say that you are dealing in controlled substances. It is okay if you deal in marijuana ONLY. What is known here as BHANG. But people say you are bringing in cocaine, heroin, crack and other forbidden substances which tend to destroy people. Now, my request to you is simple. Please pack up your bags and go to some other country. I do hope your response will be positive. In the other case, you will only compel me to use moral force.
I do hope wise counsels will prevail.
God bless you all.
MA Shahani
20 February, 2008.
Friday, February 1, 2008
On the Sydney Incident
If the BCCI is convinced that ANDY SYMONDS is the one who initiated the abusive language, then why doesn't the BCCI issue a single statement to the world media, something like this: "We shall NEVER play against any team of which ANDY SYMONDS is a member. If Mr. Symonds wishes to apologise and make restitution then we are willing to reconsider our decision. Otherwise the above resolution stays permanently."
BCCI being the richest in the whole world can easily afford to lose the small sums. They might earn by playing against scoundrels such as Symonds. But imagine what an effect it will have on all world class cricketers. "Hey, I've got to buck up and avoid all abusive language when dealing with Indians."
M.A. Shahani
1 Feb 08
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