US SENDS ADMIRAL TO SINKING PAK.(headlines TOI)

This blog is addressed to our beloved Sonia. What if one day you read "US SENDS ADMIRAL TO SINKING HIND?"M.A. Shahani4 November 2007 Love, Shakun

WE SHD FOLLOW Late Sonia Gandhi.

If the reportage is correct, then the central people shd wake up and take serious notice. The UPA leaders say that the above is but a "slip of the tongue." They should understand that Freud once said that there is no such thing as a "slip of the tongue." This simply indicates that the censor is sleeping and the truth comes out. If Freud is right then the central powers shd arrange for Presidents’ rule. Unless they wish to see something more serious come to Jharkhand.M. A. Shahani3 November 2007

US DIPLOMATS FIGHT IRAQ DRAFT(headline TOI)

All honor to the 300 who dissented from the "Death Sentence" offered them. I think they should be given the Congressional Medal of Honor, rather than the prosecution they will probably receive. Just suppose: A higher power orders Bush "Hey, Georgie, go relocate to Baghdad!" What will Bush do? Mr. Shawn McCormack says: "But we as foreign service officers swore an oath and we agreed to certain things when we took these jobs. True enough. But were we told that part of the job was to accept a death sentence?"

M.A. Shahani 3 Nov 07

Govt to go after Naxals with Guns Blazing (TOI headline)

Can it be that before the recent directive, the govt was using kid gloves...or rubber bullets?

-- MA Shahani 30 Oct

Ronen Sen to Face MPs (Mumbai Mirror)

Mr Sen is absolutely right in offering "unqualified apologies" to whoever was hurt by his tactless remarks. Of course he should never have made such foolish remarks. Because his job is to represent his people, not to criticize them. But every man should be allowed ONE mistake. And if he has the guts to apologize, he should be forgiven and admonished. "Hey, don't do it again, okay?"

-- M.A. Shahani 30 Oct.

Benazir Says She's Not Scared

If that's true, why stop attending those political meetings where she is supposed to praise her candidates to the skies.

PM's Daughter brings Jail Torture

Dear Manmohanbhai, are you going to say that you don't believe a word of what your daughter says?

Mr. Burns, Manmohanbhai and Mr. Bush

Mr. Burns tells us that we should run FAST, like 100 m in 9 seconds flat. Doesn't the respected bureaucrat bother to read the papers? Doesn't he understand that our beloved Manmohanbhai is thinking of resigning?
OR
The other interpretation is that Mr. Bush, in his desperation has asked Mr. Burns to buck up and ask those Brownies to hurry up and get those details ironed out. "Hey! What am I paying you that fancy salary for? Shake a leg, man!

Which version do you prefer?

Protesters Stall Bank work (Mumbai Mirror headline)

Tis a mystery why so many people flock to the ICICI Bank. This is about the lousiest bank in town. Every time I say this to my daughter, she defends the bank thus: "Bob wants it this way."

My experience with the bank has been a horror. Long ago I opened a DEMAT a/c with this bank on behalf of a friend of my wife. The bank said "Sure" but that we would have to also open a savings a/c. I asked my friend whose name was the same as my wife (Sundri). And she said okay. So we deposited Rs. 5000 because the bank wanted it that way. About a year and a half later the friend needed money to pay her society for repairs and other charges. So we sold the shares. When we went to the bank to report the transaction, we also asked for the closure of the DEMAT and savings accounts and a refund of the savings balance. "Sure" said the bank and refunded Rs. 3600. Wow! Rs. 1400 for a single transaction!

Mr. PC is a darn fool

He is hungry. Memsaab says "Hey PC. The bank balance is running low. Replenish. Or should I call the best divorce lawyer in town?"

My son says that IF the man was half-way intelligent he would have announced that 25% of the notes would be withdrawn in the first year. Another 25% would be removed in the second year. The third 25% in the third year. And the rest in the fourth. You know, slow and easy. This would have given the market a chance to adjust to the changing situation. Instead of crashing.

Manmohan Bhai, do please appoint him as a Supreme Court Justice before he does more damage. Thank you.

SONIA Decries Enemies of Development

With all respect to you and the whole Gandhi family here is one "enemy of development" who gets up and says: "Hey! Lady! You don't know what you're talking about. And the same goes for Manmohan Bhai. And for Mr. Sibal. He's a lawyer isn't he? He's been trained to argue both sides of the same issue, isn't he?

He says: "There's no issue." Of course there is an issue. And the issue is: Are we going to do what is in OUR interest. Or are we going to do what is in the American interest?
Lady, you ain't got no experience. And neither has Manmohan Bhai. I HAVE.
I have been double-crossed by the U.S. Army.
And my brother GENA has been stabbed in the back by Mr. Bernard Edson. And I don't know what experience Mr. Karat has, but he has got his IDEOLOGY. And his ideology tells him to get up and say:
Listen, O my brothers and sisters. Think a million times when you hear the sweet voice of Mr. SPIDER sing: "Won't you please walk into my parlor."

You should look at the experience the Americans have piled up for your inspection. God knows how many people died in Korea. 55,000 of the finest from the land of the brave died in Vietnam. Besides millions of Vietnamese. 3000 of the fair-haired boys have died in Iraq. And more are going to Heaven everyday. Then there is the peace mom who went and camped outside the ranch in Texas and called out: "Hey Georgie, come out and talk to me." And the coward skulking in his lair, thought "What shall I tell the mother of the boy I slay?"

Benazir: Just wait till I'm back in power. I'll smash up all those Al Qaida boys.

Q: What were you doing all those years when you WERE in power?

A: Hey, I was busy raking in all that moolah.

Get Mrs Clean to Cure Mr Corrupt

At the same time get a lot more divorce lawyers, because, sure as shootin', you are going to have a lot more divorce petitions as soon as Mr. C. finds out that memsaab is trying to weaken the financial foundations of our marriage!

Letter to Mr. Bollinger

Dear Mr. Bollinger,

Have you no shame? To invite a man from his home 12,000 miles away, only to insult him. Can it be that the moral values that your parents tried to instill in you, have disappeared in the bright glow of Texan gold? For shame!

Have you heard of Newton's Law? Have you forgotten that the Lord God knows all, sees all and will judge all on the day of judgment?

Down! Down on your knees! And pray. "Lord God, please forgive this poor Dummy, for he knew not what he was doing.

MAS. 29th September, 2007.

O My Hero

This one is addressed to Mr. Karat. You are my true hero. Because you have delved into the American psyche and come up with the answer. "Beware the Americans bearing gifts." You are a politician and you are well advised to be discreet. I have no such inhibitions. I am 90. And at the fag end of my life. And therefore my warning is:

Do not be stampeded into implementing the 1.2.3, because the danger is that the American will go on making demands. More, more, more, till one day you will wake up wondering: Is this the Indian Union or are we in the 51st state? Why do I say this. Because I have been double-crossed by the U.S. Army. Because my brother Gena has been stabbed in the back by an American he trusted implicitly. By a man he loved like a brother. All these stories are too long to relate here. I was advised by relatives: make it short and sweet. Do not bore anyone. But if Mr. Karat wishes for details, I am the boy for him. All he has to do is write to me, and he shall have all the details in my possession. And now ZIP! As Bob would say.

-- M.A. Shahani, 26th September, 2007.